Monday’s are such a lame way to spend 1/7th of your life. On such a monday a conversation between 2 IT folks:
Rina: Gurujiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Guruji: Yessssssssss
Rina: Feeling sleepy….
Guruji: Me tooo….
Rina: Why do mondays come?
Guruji: Because sunday’s end…
Rina: hmmm
Guruji: I saw a kind of movie last night in dreams...
Guruji: I was shot in the knee fighting..
Rina:
wat dreams u get
Guruji: arre if I tell you the whole dream , you will laugh till ur stomach aches.. but I plan to put that on my blog...
Rina: bt u can give me an outline, as now m curious
Guruji: Longgggggggggggggggg story...
Rina: today is a LOOOOOOOOOOOng day
Guruji:
Rina: remeber ?? Its monday..
so u can start
Guruji: Now that is not fair, you blackmail me emotionally by making sad faces...
Actually it won't be fun reading.. will tell u in person some other time..
Rina: ok
After 5 minutes………………………………………
Rina: Gurujiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Guruji: yesssssssssssssss
Rina: just…bore ho rahi thi
Guruji: Dream bata hi dun kya?
Rina: haan
Guruji: ok..
◄ here it goes
Guruji: I saw a skinny, thin not so cool, bad looking friend of mine.. (No idea who he was), but got a hot, very attractive beautiful, lovely looking gorgeous girlfriend
I met him on the streets while he was taking a walk along with his gf..
Rina:
Guruji: Then all of a sudden a fat, ugly guy, who looked like the villains of the 60's...came and started teasing the gf very abusively and offensively...
The skinny thing friend of mine unexpectedly, gave 3-4 tight slaps to the fatso..
The fatso almost burst into tears and and went inside the house infront of which we were standing..
While I was still in complete shock over whatever happend, after a couple of minutes, the fatso came back with dozens of people with him..
Rina:
Guruji: Those dozens of people or I should says thugs or chaps, who looked like the gang members of a 80's movie, were all carrying guns....
Rina:
Guruji: and including the fatso, they all started shooting at us...
While we 2 were trying to run from the crime scene
Rina: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Guruji: the girl was gone.. She just disappeared...
Rina: hmmm
◄ there's shooting goin on n ur concentrating on the girl
Guruji:
While I was running, my friend got a couple of bullet and fell over the footpath and died on the spot...
I doubt he used to look like shekhar..
I was thinking since the culprit has died, No i will be free and can simply walk home... I was anyways not with him..
But the fatso and the gang were still after me,
they kept on shooting
WHile I was cheking on my friend, I got shot at the knee..
Can't tell you how an awesome feelin it was...
I - the most simple - ever smiling - no quarrels - the clean image guy - got shot at the kneee fighting..
Rina:
Guruji: I was feeling like a knight!
Rina:
Guruji: But soon I realized that it would be difficult to run since I was shot at the knee ..
Rina: oh
Guruji: So I looked for shelter/Bunker
Then I found an old rusty car at the other end of the road
I ran for my life and went and covered myself behind the car, while dozens of people including the fatso were still shooting at me, from the nearby buildings...
I waited for sometime, but the @$$es were not stopping at all, God knows they had an ammunition factory or what..
But I had to make an action to save my life...
Just then, I saw a 'langar' hapening, in fatso's neighbor's house...
u know langar???
Rina: no
wats dt?
Guruji: arre hindi wala,mandir mein hota hai na …
Khana khilate hain logon ko
Rina: accha got it
Guruji: Ok...
so while there were dozens of people shooting in the street,
there was a langar going on peacefully in the neighborhood...
one of the guys there was serving Boondi Raita from a bucket, to the people sitting in a row
Rina:
Raita
??
Guruji: yup!
its my favourite
Rina:
◄ now ur concentrating on food
hey bhagwan
Guruji: don't say anything to Boondi Raita, wait and know how this Raita saved my life...
so there was this boy who was serving boondi raita
While I was hidding behind the car almost sitting in a position like a rat...
The boy saw my leg and a part of the big butt of mine...
Rina:
Guruji: He thought that I am a beggar and is eating behind the car...
Guruji: He came with his bucket of Raita to me (While the shoting was still on)...
and served... even though I was not having any plates..
Rina:
Guruji: I thought this is the best opportunity
I got hold of him as a cover,
and started running behind him, taking his cover
I was saved from all the bullets
And the boy also didn't get a single shot
u know how?
All the shots were taken by the iron bucket of Boondi Raita...
Rina: bucket of raita?
Guruji: So under his cover only I came out of that street...
I thanked the guy for the Boondi raita..sorry for help.. and started walking towards home
While I was walking home.. I had 2 thoughts in mind..
Rina: now u still had thoughts
wt patience
Guruji:
1. Where the hell did the girl disappear...?? How could she run so fast..
2. When would the next langar happen, and would I be able to go there? The raita looked just awesome...
Rina:
i knew u were concentrating only on these 2
Guruji: Thinking abt all these I reached home...
And had the proud feeling that I got into such a big fight
and even got shot.. Yippi!! 
~~~~The End~~~~~~
Rina:
waah
i have no words
mayb a next bollywood script
Guruji: yeah, u can't have words, Must be filled with Raita by now... :)
Rina: :)
Guruji: So I wasted ur half an hour in this silly story of mine.. :)
Rina: nooo
it was nice
it ws the only thing tht kept me awake
otherwise m almost fallin asleep on my chair
Guruji: Cool… I am going to get a coffee, Can’t hold it anymore.. C ya!
:)
:: Guruji is away ::
Enough warming the office chair,
I’ve had busy life’s enough share,
Now only smiles n’ No more pain,
Step aside World, Phoenix is gonna rise again….!!!
Fatso turns blogger..
Thnx to the inspiration crazybugga.
Presenting you some of the most stupid things i did in my life...
Starting from the beginning... As far as i remember..
Don't remember my age exactly for the events, so will tell you in the order of my school grades and college.
1. Class - 1
I took Rs. 6/- from my mother, for getting a copy of the group snap of our class. I was so happy to hold such a big amount in my hands, on the way to school. Suddenly a big guy came from nowhere and took the money off guard my hands. All i could do at that time was crying out like hell.. The crying was so loud that people came out of their homes. Till then the bully was gone…Damn him.. I could have caught him and give him some punches here and there. Ok.Ok.. I couldn’t have done anything.. he was huge.. like a rhino.. I got a bad beating from Mother at home..
By the way.. I was on leave on the day, when the class had taken the group snap…
2. Class-2
Wow!! Such a wonderful thing is a matchbox.. what a beauty.. how do they light it? Here it goes… the match is burnt and.. Damn!!..The shed over our rendezvous is burning.. Oh..God.. Does grass burn like this quickly? By just a little match? People out on the street are blabbering some thing.. Suddenly.. SPLASH!!!! And then a THUDDDDD!!!!! It was my mother who had put the fire off with a bucket of water and almost knocked me off with the empty bucket…Thank god it was made of plastic.. All I could here after that was a sharp sound like.. sale..kutte .. kamine.. akal ghas charne gayi hai kya? Apne hi ghar me aag lagane chala hai bewakoof…
People have no respect of experimentation and innovation.
3. Class-3
My first day at the new school in the new place.. Oh it's a living hell.. how big is the nose of Patel sir? My god.. how can they beat like this an 8 year young kid. Not getting a single word what that Sanskrit teacher is talking about.. In my old school only cute, beautiful madams were there. No sirs at all.. That was heaven.. How will I be able to study in this stupid place. Oh.. there are so many people here much more intelligent than me.. At my last school I was the Topper. The topper among the class of 6 students..
The second day. My father has come to drope me to the school gate. NO… I am not going in today.. Just when my father left.. I ran away from the school.. Thank God!! No body noticed me. Wow!! So wonderful it is to be here outside the zoo(school).. See the pond.. there must be fishes inside.. Damn!! When will I learn swimming? Such big and lovely buses are here at the Bus depot. Does the blue one go to my Granny’s town?
See the kids in the farm.. they don’t have to go to school… Why me? Such nice it is to be playing all the day.. STOP..What time is it?? I can’t roam here and there for the whole day.. Ok.. Let’s go home..
Mother – How come you came so early today?
Me – Our Sanskrit teacher is not well today.. so they called it a day. (Such a bad excuse.)
Mother – hmm?? How can they….. Ok Ok.. go and have your lunch..
Me – ( Flawless Victory. I am a Genius.!!! )
I tried the same trick for the second day.. while I was wandering in the city my neighbor caught me and took me home. I am still able to visualize the fire in my father’s eyes..
After the day.. I never bunked a single class either in school or college.. ( I do bunk office these days.)
4. Class – 5
Why the place there is so much crowded? Oh.. they are having a dance competition here. All the participants belong to children of the Rickshaw Pullers, labours and so do the crowd and the place. Oh.. they have started. A 4-5 year old short heighten kid is on the stage. The music starts.. Muquabala..Muqabala.. Oh Laila… The kid is throwing his legs here and there.. His hands are not moving.. The right one is trying hard to keep his pants from falling and the left one is wiping out the running nose frequently.. The crowd is cheering and whistling.. The music stopped.. The boy gets a Pack full of biscuits and one copy and a pen.. The second boy went on the dance floor.. The same song is being played again.. The kid starts Jumping..(i.e. dancing actually.). Oh.. His dance is the same that we do every Saturday at school.. PT.. the weekly drill… The music stops.. The boy gets a reward of a big bar of Rs 2/- chocolate and a pencil and a pen..
My ego hurts… How can they give away rewards to silly ugly looking boys who are just hopping to save their pants.. DO they have ever heard of what is called Break-Dance.. I will show them.. I went and gave my name.. Next was me.. The same song started again.. I am dancing.. Wow!! Mithun Chakrabarti can you stretch you legs like this? Govinda, you can’t even move the body like me.. I am such a great dancer.. Somebody shouted.. "Are Wah Maharaj",,, Somebody stopped the music in between… My name was called.. I was rewarded with 2 pieces of biscuits and an ugly looking pen.
These people can’t identify the talent. They even don’t know what dance is..
I gave my biscuit and the pen to my maid’s kid who was laughing next to me.. MY mother could have beaten hell out of me, if she had come to know that I participated in such a competition, in a Rickshawala’s colony. Whoofff.. Break dance is very tiring. I’ll be famous one day.
Now-a-days i don't dance.. I have to take care of the people around me.. It may lead to an earthquake..
That is all for the first post..
will post stupidities from rest of my life soon.. it is full of them...
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