Satisfaction?

Have been struggling for long to find out what's the essence and meaning of life. They say we all are here for a purpose! Well, what is it then?

               I have heard of people still being dissatisfied even when they have all the things they need. Dissatisfaction has always been bugging me for years. When I was in school, it was for Better friends, better grades.. When I was in college, little respect and more recognition. Then it was a job and later work quality, work life balance.

                   I guess this is a hunt that never stops. We all always keep looking for something and something more... Was in my text books when I was young:

मनुष्य की आवश्यकताओं का कभी अंत नहीं होता।।

True I would say. At least in my case haven't been able to figure out what would really satisfy this fat man's hunger!!

Once I will be able to look back at my life in satisfaction, I would assume I have lived twice.

New Year Resolutions...Yawwwwnnn!!

There goes another year 2012 and hops in 2013. There are people who tend to ponder over the last year and make up new year resolutions (only to break them on the 2nd of January). So, I am not going to go blabbering about my last year. It hasn't been that good after all. New year resolutions is something I can look at again this year may be.

New Year Resolutions are more or less like the birthday balloons that everyone is eager to burst as soon as the cake is cut. Most of us are a kid when it comes to committing to something for self improvement. Remember the last time you told kids to not to eat chocolates, because it may spoil their teeth? I am very sure, the same moment they would have started imagining all different kinds of sweet delicacies, and would be eating even more. Specially when you give these To-Dos the name of a new year resolution, there is hardly a chance they will get met.

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool.

But still, always like last year I looked at some of the new year resolutions, to think if I could pick up one. Here it goes:

1. Lose Weight: Well, I have been trying about it for over 4-5 years now. I have only gained never lost. Whenever I try to lose it, it always finds me. Not being lazy has never been a resolution and probably that is the reason I still have a gigantic satellite antenna around my waist. People would say control your diet, but I have always been on a diet. A seafood Diet. I see food and I eat it. Out of my league, something that hasn't happened in 5 years, is hardly going to happen this year. Let the nature's course run. Well, the positive side of it is, I still have only 2 chins... so far..!! Well, as the great Ramadhir Singh in GOW said - "Beta, tumse na ho payega!!"

2. Quit Drinking/Smoking: This is the 2nd most common resolution people take up. Irony is I don't pursue any of these already to quit. I have seen people not drinking for as much as a month, then it would be one of their close buddy's birthday and they will dilute their resolution with the Tequila shots and forget about it. "Arre, mere dost ka birthday hai yaar, wo mera bhai hai!" and "I only drink Socially" are the common phrases that are heard after breaking this resolution. Smokers have even less of a patience. They can't even stand a day. The very 2nd day, you would see them asking people "Bhai, Sutta hai kya?" because they threw away (more likely ashed out their lungs)  last night while they were talli. I certainly don't need to have any of the 2 resolutions. I don't even drink socially! I can blabber without being drunk.

3. Saving Money: Being financially dumb (and I accept it honestly) there is a hardly a focus I give on any of the money matters. I have been spending carelessly and on a better part, transferring money to my Indian account once in a while. I have been generous enough to throw the money around and not to care about it, that is me being dumb. But there are some things in life that I have always considered immaterial, money is the first of them. So would I save money? While I wait for my 3rd amazon order worth over 2500 Rs this week, I say no! Although, I said no to another prospective (and expensive) trip a friend was asking me about.

As Ayn Rand said - Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.

4. Plan a trip: Last time I checked, I did not win a lottery or a million dollars while I was in Vegas. Trips need expenditure and working in a mediocre job in a mediocre salary, does not make it any easy either. Now although it would sound like, I am in America but still cribbing about money? Well, Is there a single person in the world who doesn't. I have seen enough of America already and America and I are through, I will be moving on to my next destination, as soon as I get outta here.

 हमको मालूम है जन्नत की हकीक़त लेकिन,
दिल बहलाने को ग़ालिब ये ख्याल अच्छा है।।

5. Learn Something New: Hmm... But Learn what? Guitar? Tried - Didn't learn anything, and I am anyway over age to impress girls, so not guitar. Photography? - Well, I am still learning for more than 3 years now, have I learned? No.. Just spent more, learned almost nothing. Painting? - I am already a cook, once I start painting and Silai Kadhai kinda stuff, मेरी माँ कोई अच्छा सा लड़का देख के मेरी शादी कर देगी!! So, that's not an option either. Martial Arts - Yeah, goes well with those dunlop tires around my waist right? Stop the madness! New Language - I understand many, and moreover this is something that you do for once and then forget about it. I didn't have anyone to say "Ohayo Gozaimasu", in the morning did I? Those Japanese skills went in vain.  Well, even though I don't brag about it in my blog or in person, (not even bragging now :P ) that I already have tons of skills ;) That's what I hear from friends at least while they are forcing me for getting married. :P

                    So all the big ones are gone. There is another forced one that people have started floating around this year, is getting me married. What is the big fuzz about getting married people?

Me : Marriage :: Sachin : Retirement

That's about it! I will avoid that question as long as I can, and will submit one day without any will of my own. I am not making a new year resolution this year as well. Better not to make one rather than paving hell on it a week later. So as far as New Year Resolutions are concerned,

"बेटा, तुमसे न हो पायेगा, तुम्हारे लक्षण ठीक नहीं लग रहे।।"

P.S. - Happy New Year everyone! May god give you a big fat bank account and a thin healthy body. (Dear God, please don't mix these up, like you have been doing it for me year after year!!).
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Angels & Demons

Angels & Demons...We all have either that heavenly Angel or the vicious Demon in us. Well, most of the times both. It is us who choose to be either one of them at times. Sometimes we are the angel who helps an old lady cross the road, and sometimes we are the Demon who lies to a beggar on the streets saying we don't have change, because of lack of time. Take an example from our daily office environment. Sometimes you be the angel stretching a night out, just helping a colleague, and sometimes you be the demon and get envied a bit about the accomplishments of the same colleague. A part of the angel and a part of the devil..when these elements come together, it brings out our real self, what we are.. Humans..!

Friends?

Going Home-II did not happen. I went too far emotionally to write something about that. Life has not been the same after I returned... Its been a turnstile going this round and coming back the other round. Read somewhere - "Shit Happens!" Well it does, but so does life.

Fun part about the journey of life always comprises of friends. Friends that are always around you, some who care a lot, some who make you smile, some who also irritate you, but keep you live! They don't let the fun part of you die in you. My life has been full of them. As I moved from school to college and then onto a job, I kept making better and better friends. Well, can't say for sure that you should quantify friendship into words saying, good or better friends, but definitely the closeness increased as I stepped towards more mature bonding with people.

Have I personally been a good friend? Well, I am sure my different groups of friends would have different opinions about it. While the current group might say some decent words, the older ones must be mad at me for not being in touch. Not calling them up when I should have. It isn't that they are out of my circle of care and attention, its just that I have been not so social. Well, who am I fooling, whatever is the case, I should have been calling up my old buddies once in a while. Now there are things that I can't change, and part of it includes my self righteousness about my lazy attitude!

Going Home - I

2 Years isn't really a long time. Although this time it felt like I had not been home for decades. Probable reason could be that in these 2 years, I had worked for 4-5 years in these 2 years. The thought of going home for a vacation had never came into my mind. Not sure of the reason! May be was just waiting for the right occasion. 

Booked the tickets after battling with managers on dates and compromising on delaying the trip by a week to get an extra week. Primary purpose of the trip was to see Babuji (grandpa).. and Bade Mai (mom's aunt).. They were counting the last breaths of their lives. Doesn't really sound like the right occasion that I was waiting for but this was more essential than going for a marriage.

8th May: Papaji called up. Babuji had left us. He had once said-"Pandit! Mere marne ke baad aaoge kya?" I cried, without a sound, I did. All I was left with was a regret for the whole life. Had I been home little earlier.... and that question came into my mind again - 

"Is this all worth it?"

Cleveland>Detroit>Amsterdam>Mumbai>Raipur>Raigarh

4 flights and a Tata Indigo. 

The journey was almost the same until Amsterdam. Smiling faces, people doing small talks and bland but supposed to be classy flight food. Best thing about Detroit>Amsterdam was I got to watch Sherlock Holmes movies. It was the Amsterdam boarding gate where things started to seem little different. Expressionless or frustrated faces. People not talking at all. Some young chaps showing off their iPhones and Dell laptops, for us to assume that they were working in the states and earning in dollars. Yes, they all were Indians. It was the old age couple talking to each other in soft spoken Marathi, which made me feel I was getting closer to home. 

Reached Mumbai. Immigration queues were crowded at 12 night. I was under assumption the queues would be crowded with IT employees or returning students or visiting Gujjus. I was wrong! The major crowd was labor returning from Saudi countries, who were not even sure how to fill their immigration forms and were fighting with attendants.

Customs was easier than I thought. The mamu at the exit gate greeted in English - "Welcome to India". I replied - "Dhanywad Kaka!" 

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Some Day

Thoughts and words are all scattered around me.
Some recollection and I will write again.
Laziness is probably the biggest enemy of creativity.
Some more motivation and I will write again..
That urge to write, one more time... and
I will write again.. Some day. 

A Knight, A Fight & Boondi Raita

Monday’s are such a lame way to spend 1/7th of your life. On such a monday a conversation between 2 IT folks:

Rina: Gurujiiiiiiiiiiiiii 

Guruji: Yessssssssss

Rina: Feeling sleepy….

Guruji: Me tooo….

Rina: Why do mondays come?

Guruji: Because sunday’s end…

Rina: hmmm

Guruji: I saw a kind of movie last night in dreams... 

Guruji: I was shot in the knee fighting..

Rina:

wat dreams u get

Guruji: arre if I tell you the whole dream , you will laugh till ur stomach aches.. but I plan to put that on my blog...

Rina: bt u can give me an outline, as now m curious

Guruji: Longgggggggggggggggg story...

Rina: today is a LOOOOOOOOOOOng day

Guruji:

Rina: remeber ?? Its monday..

so u can start

Guruji: Now that is not fair, you blackmail me emotionally by making sad faces...

 Actually it won't be fun reading.. will tell u in person some other time..

Rina: ok

 

After 5 minutes………………………………………

 

Rina: Gurujiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Guruji: yesssssssssssssss

Rina: just…bore ho rahi thi 

Guruji: Dream bata hi dun kya?

Rina: haan

Guruji: ok..

◄ here it goes

Guruji: I saw a skinny, thin not so cool, bad looking friend of mine.. (No idea who he was), but got a hot, very attractive beautiful, lovely looking gorgeous girlfriend

I met him on the streets while he was taking a walk along with his gf..

Rina:

Guruji: Then all of a sudden a fat, ugly guy, who looked like the villains of the 60's...came and started teasing the gf very abusively and offensively...

The skinny thing friend of mine unexpectedly, gave 3-4 tight slaps to the fatso..

The fatso almost burst into tears and and went inside the house infront of which we were standing..

While I was still in complete shock over whatever happend, after a couple of minutes, the fatso came back with dozens of people with him..

Rina:

Guruji: Those dozens of people or I should says thugs or chaps, who looked like the gang members of a 80's movie, were all carrying guns....

Rina:

Guruji: and including the fatso, they all started shooting at us...

While we 2 were trying to run from the crime scene

Rina: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Guruji: the girl was gone.. She just disappeared...

Rina: hmmm

◄ there's shooting goin on n ur concentrating on the girl

Guruji:

While I was running, my friend got a couple of bullet and fell over the footpath and died on the spot...

I doubt he used to look like shekhar..

I was thinking since the culprit has died, No i will be free and can simply walk home... I was anyways not with him..

But the fatso and the gang were still after me,

they kept on shooting

WHile I was cheking on my friend, I got shot at the knee..

Can't tell you how an awesome feelin it was...

I - the most simple - ever smiling - no quarrels - the clean image guy - got shot at the kneee fighting..

Rina:

Guruji: I was feeling like a knight! 

Rina: 

Guruji: But soon I realized that it would be difficult to run since I was shot at the knee ..

Rina: oh

Guruji: So I looked for shelter/Bunker

Then I found an old rusty car at the other end of the road

I ran for my life and went and covered myself behind the car, while dozens of people including the fatso were still shooting at me, from the nearby buildings...

I waited for sometime, but the @$$es were not stopping at all, God knows they had an ammunition factory or what..

But I had to make an action to save my life...

Just then, I saw a 'langar' hapening, in fatso's neighbor's house...

u know langar???

Rina: no

wats dt?

Guruji: arre hindi wala,mandir mein hota hai na …

Khana khilate hain logon ko

Rina: accha got it

Guruji: Ok...

so while there were dozens of people shooting in the street,

there was a langar going on peacefully in the neighborhood...

one of the guys there was serving Boondi Raita from a bucket, to the people sitting in a row

Rina:

Raita

??

Guruji: yup!

its my favourite

Rina:

 

◄ now ur concentrating on food

 hey bhagwan

Guruji: don't say anything to Boondi Raita, wait and know how this Raita saved my life...

so there was this boy who was serving boondi raita

While I was hidding behind the car almost sitting in a position like a rat...

The boy saw my leg and a part of the big butt of mine...

Rina:

Guruji: He thought that I am a beggar and is eating behind the car...

Guruji: He came with his bucket of Raita to me (While the shoting was still on)...

 and served... even though I was not having any plates..

Rina:

Guruji: I thought this is the best opportunity

I got hold of him as a cover,

and started running behind him, taking his cover

I was saved from all the bullets

And the boy also didn't get a single shot

u know how?

All the shots were taken by the iron bucket of Boondi Raita...

Rina: bucket of raita?

Guruji: So under his cover only I came out of that street...

I thanked the guy for the Boondi raita..sorry for help.. and started walking towards home

While I was walking home.. I had 2 thoughts in mind..

Rina: now u still had thoughts

wt patience

Guruji:

1. Where the hell did the girl disappear...?? How could she run so fast..

2. When would the next langar happen, and would I be able to go there? The raita looked just awesome...

Rina:

i knew u were concentrating only on these 2

Guruji: Thinking abt all these I reached home...

And had the proud feeling that I got into such a big fight

and even got shot.. Yippi!! I am a fighter..

~~~~The End~~~~~~

Rina:

waah

i have no words

mayb a next bollywood script

Guruji: yeah, u can't have words, Must be filled with Raita by now... :)

Rina: :)

Guruji: So I wasted ur half an hour in this silly story of mine.. :)

Rina: nooo

it was nice

it ws the only thing tht kept me awake

otherwise m almost fallin asleep on my chair

Guruji: Cool… I am going to get a coffee, Can’t hold it anymore.. C ya!

:)

:: Guruji is away ::