Fatso turns blogger..
Thnx to the inspiration crazybugga.
Presenting you some of the most stupid things i did in my life...
Starting from the beginning... As far as i remember..
Don't remember my age exactly for the events, so will tell you in the order of my school grades and college.
1. Class - 1
I took Rs. 6/- from my mother, for getting a copy of the group snap of our class. I was so happy to hold such a big amount in my hands, on the way to school. Suddenly a big guy came from nowhere and took the money off guard my hands. All i could do at that time was crying out like hell.. The crying was so loud that people came out of their homes. Till then the bully was gone…Damn him.. I could have caught him and give him some punches here and there. Ok.Ok.. I couldn’t have done anything.. he was huge.. like a rhino.. I got a bad beating from Mother at home..
By the way.. I was on leave on the day, when the class had taken the group snap…
2. Class-2
Wow!! Such a wonderful thing is a matchbox.. what a beauty.. how do they light it? Here it goes… the match is burnt and.. Damn!!..The shed over our rendezvous is burning.. Oh..God.. Does grass burn like this quickly? By just a little match? People out on the street are blabbering some thing.. Suddenly.. SPLASH!!!! And then a THUDDDDD!!!!! It was my mother who had put the fire off with a bucket of water and almost knocked me off with the empty bucket…Thank god it was made of plastic.. All I could here after that was a sharp sound like.. sale..kutte .. kamine.. akal ghas charne gayi hai kya? Apne hi ghar me aag lagane chala hai bewakoof…
People have no respect of experimentation and innovation.
3. Class-3
My first day at the new school in the new place.. Oh it's a living hell.. how big is the nose of Patel sir? My god.. how can they beat like this an 8 year young kid. Not getting a single word what that Sanskrit teacher is talking about.. In my old school only cute, beautiful madams were there. No sirs at all.. That was heaven.. How will I be able to study in this stupid place. Oh.. there are so many people here much more intelligent than me.. At my last school I was the Topper. The topper among the class of 6 students..
The second day. My father has come to drope me to the school gate. NO… I am not going in today.. Just when my father left.. I ran away from the school.. Thank God!! No body noticed me. Wow!! So wonderful it is to be here outside the zoo(school).. See the pond.. there must be fishes inside.. Damn!! When will I learn swimming? Such big and lovely buses are here at the Bus depot. Does the blue one go to my Granny’s town?
See the kids in the farm.. they don’t have to go to school… Why me? Such nice it is to be playing all the day.. STOP..What time is it?? I can’t roam here and there for the whole day.. Ok.. Let’s go home..
Mother – How come you came so early today?
Me – Our Sanskrit teacher is not well today.. so they called it a day. (Such a bad excuse.)
Mother – hmm?? How can they….. Ok Ok.. go and have your lunch..
Me – ( Flawless Victory. I am a Genius.!!! )
I tried the same trick for the second day.. while I was wandering in the city my neighbor caught me and took me home. I am still able to visualize the fire in my father’s eyes..
After the day.. I never bunked a single class either in school or college.. ( I do bunk office these days.)
4. Class – 5
Why the place there is so much crowded? Oh.. they are having a dance competition here. All the participants belong to children of the Rickshaw Pullers, labours and so do the crowd and the place. Oh.. they have started. A 4-5 year old short heighten kid is on the stage. The music starts.. Muquabala..Muqabala.. Oh Laila… The kid is throwing his legs here and there.. His hands are not moving.. The right one is trying hard to keep his pants from falling and the left one is wiping out the running nose frequently.. The crowd is cheering and whistling.. The music stopped.. The boy gets a Pack full of biscuits and one copy and a pen.. The second boy went on the dance floor.. The same song is being played again.. The kid starts Jumping..(i.e. dancing actually.). Oh.. His dance is the same that we do every Saturday at school.. PT.. the weekly drill… The music stops.. The boy gets a reward of a big bar of Rs 2/- chocolate and a pencil and a pen..
My ego hurts… How can they give away rewards to silly ugly looking boys who are just hopping to save their pants.. DO they have ever heard of what is called Break-Dance.. I will show them.. I went and gave my name.. Next was me.. The same song started again.. I am dancing.. Wow!! Mithun Chakrabarti can you stretch you legs like this? Govinda, you can’t even move the body like me.. I am such a great dancer.. Somebody shouted.. "Are Wah Maharaj",,, Somebody stopped the music in between… My name was called.. I was rewarded with 2 pieces of biscuits and an ugly looking pen.
These people can’t identify the talent. They even don’t know what dance is..
I gave my biscuit and the pen to my maid’s kid who was laughing next to me.. MY mother could have beaten hell out of me, if she had come to know that I participated in such a competition, in a Rickshawala’s colony. Whoofff.. Break dance is very tiring. I’ll be famous one day.
Now-a-days i don't dance.. I have to take care of the people around me.. It may lead to an earthquake..
That is all for the first post..
will post stupidities from rest of my life soon.. it is full of them...
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